The mistake
by John and Severina
Summary: Severus' graduation ball. Lily, Riddle, a ritual, a broken heart


The mistake Authors: John & Severina Disclaimer: JKR owns HP etc. We own the idea, the story, Rouge, Disa and Melissa A/N (important): For us, Alan Rickman is the ideal portrait of Severus Snape. Therefore Severus looks like AR in the movie and not like described in the books. Please, don't let yourself be irritated by this. There are constantly changing POVs of Snape and Lily. Consequently, things will be repeated. Voldemort ist DADA teacher and Slytherin Head of House at Hogwarts. He still looks like Tom Riddle and not like a snake-man. Thoughts are written in italic. Have fun reading. - John & Severina And please, review. It's the only way we can improve.  
  
Lily Evans looked at her reflection in the mirror and smiled as it responded her. "If I could see such beauty every day I would be the happiest creature on earth." Yes, today she really liked a little the way he looked. She wore a long blue dress and had arranged her hair in a way that only a few strands of this long red silk escaped the hairstyle. Her earrings and the pendant of her necklace matched the colour of her eyes. She tried to keep the smile on her face, but lost the battle as she thought once more that today would be the last time she would see Severus at school regularly. Today he graduated and would leave Hogwarts forever. Well, they still had the summer holidays to stay together. There was only the problem that she now would have to explain her parents she had a boyfriend. But she had no fear that they wouldn't be pleased with him. Sure they will like him. And I have only one more year to go. After that we will never have to part again. Sev, I love you. Sadly, Lily sighed. She missed her boyfriend already. She was suddenly interrupted in her thoughts by her roommates. "Hey, Lily, are you coming? It's going to start every moment and we don't want to be late." "I still can't believe it you are actually going with Snape. I mean, how can you?" "A Slytherin is not worthy to dress up for him. You are far too beautiful for him. You are even to beautiful for anybody here." Lily smiled faintly as she heard her friends' comments. She let them speak, she had grown used to it. Nobody would ever see Sev the way he really was as nobody took the time to even try to know. "I'm coming!" she called, looking one last time in the mirror and then joining her friends.  
  
Severus Snape was waiting at the bottom of the stairs for his "date". Lily Evans. What am I actually feeling for her? She really is amazingly beautiful. And she is intelligent. Does she know what I am going to do with her tonight? How ironic it is! She loves me, I know it, and I will lead her into death tonight. Oh, Sev, are you beginning to feel remorse? About what the Hell am I thinking! Voldemort's goals are mine as well and I am going to get any sacrifice necessary for it. But do I love her as well? No! I don't. Numerous students in gala robes descended the stairs and passed Severus. He wore black, as he ever did when he had the opportunity. Very simple. And it hid the kilos he had put on for Lucius. He was going with Narcissa... Severus still couldn't figure out why his former lover was liking her. Lily...what shall I think... But Severus, isn't that bright and clear as day? She is just a woman, a female, the material that Voldemort is needing. The heart of a pure soul. Yes, that she really is. Pure...Where is she? I am beginning to feel thoroughly stupid. If the others knew what I am intending to do while they are dancing... I am only waiting here to live the opening with her. Then I'll try to lure her downstairs. But how? Oh, she will undoubtedly follow me. She loves me. I'll only have to kiss her and pretend that... I want to sleep with her? Somehow tasteless, all this. I doesn't matter, I always acted calculating. Why should it be different tonight. It is graduation celebration for my year, after this I'll be leaving this school for good. What am I going to do afterwards? What will Voldemort be planning? And how about Luce? She is coming... Oh my God, she... she... I can't believe it I have the guts to kill her. But Voldemort trusts me. I won't disappoint him.  
  
She smiled as she saw him standing at the bottom of the stairs. Of course, he wore black again. How else could it have been? Does he know how good he looks in it? She beamed at him as she placed a light kiss on his cheek and slipped her arm through his. She ignored the piercing glances which James, Sirius, Remus and Peter gave them. Let them stare like morons, that doesn't bother me. I have done nothing I could be ashamed of. I stand by Sev, no matter towards whom. "Shall we go?" Together with other students they entered the Great Hall. It was magnificently decorated for the event, house banners were hanging everywhere and the room was illuminated by innumerable floating candles. The ceiling looked like a light, starry night. Every now and then a shooting star appeared. Even the professors seemed to have made up. Professor Dumbledore was wearing a night blue robe with golden stars on it and McGonagal wore a deep purple dress. Lily noticed that Professor Riddle was missing, but it didn't bother her at all. Normally, it was strange that a Head of House didn't appear for the Graduation Ball but he would have his reasons. The house tables had been taken away and replaced by smaller ones so everybody could sit where he or she desired. Lily let Severus take the lead. She tried desperately to hold back her tears which she managed more or less. This wouldn't be a goodbye for forever, they still had the holidays together. But Lily couldn't help it, she missed Severus already now. The past months with him had been so wonderful, so harmonious. There had been no need to express their love physically, they understood each other even without it. Lily smiled. No, Melissa, men do not only think of the one thing and I've got the living proof standing here right beside me. It is not important to sleep with each other straight away when you are in love. It can wait for a long time. And it leaves you the opportunity to imagine how it could be. Lily blushed. Thoughts like these did not belong in a room crowded with people. She still sensed James' and Sirius' burning glances. Just as if to show them she didn't mind she walked even more closely to Severus, tried to be as near to him as possible. But Lucius Malfoy was looking suspiciously at her, too. Apparently he was just one more who could not forget the House rivalry, not even for one evening. He scared her a little, he always had. He had an aura around him... But he also had a stunning beautiful company. Lily had always envied Narcissa for her beauty, she felt so colourless beside the Slytherin. Finally, everybody sat and Dumbledore rose to make his speech. Lily squeezed Sev's hand and did not manage, despite all trying, to hold back a tear as he looked at her. Dumbledore's speech fit to the occasion, as ever. A little bit funny, a little bit serious and even a little sentimental, but after all, this year was something special. Then, the tables were filled with food of all kind. Finally, the ball was opened. Severus asked Lily for a dance. After all, I have to seem and act normal. And I have learned those damned steps especially for today. At another table, James was furious with jealousy. Why didn't she go with me? Well, that's not important now, I won't spoil my company's evening. "Rouge, do you want to dance?" While he asked, Remus tried desperately not to have to dance. "Erh, Disa, look, I'm so sorry, but I sprained my ankle while I was flying." Uhuh! Remus, couldn't you come up with something more intelligent? As if she's going to believe it... Severus danced with Lily, while a million thoughts raced through his mind. What exactly am I doing here. Has it really got to be her? Can't I find another one who's good enough for him? Do I love her? He seemed very absent-minded and as the dance ended, he led her back to their table. They sat alone, as everybody was avoiding them. The Slytherins didn't want to be at the same table as a Gryffindor and vice versa. As they regained their seats Lucius hissed as they past him. "Very good and pretty dancing, Sev! Very elegant. Oh, Lily, what a wonderful colour combination, your hair and the dress!" He turned back to Narcissa and laughed evily. Now the time had come, he had to ask her somehow... They had to go downstairs... Yes, once again a year was over, once again students left these halls forever. That was very well expressed, Professor Dumbledore. Lily let herself led by Severus. Once she looked up into his face. He seemed so absent-minded. Was he thinking the same as she did? "Sev, I love you," she whispered as she rested her head against his shoulder. She could have stayed and danced like that forever. Sirius observed them with a hurt and suspicious eye. Yes, she had refused James, but that she had turned him down as well he would never have thought. Such a thing had never ever happened before. Why Snape? You can only hate that guy. How can she dance with somebody so downright evil? He could have lived with it if James had defeated him, even if it would have been extremely difficult, but this went beyond the limits. He touched his company's arm and kissed her demonstratively on the lips. "Dance, darling?" Without waiting for the answer he dragged her along with him. After a time that was much too short the first dance ended and Lily followed Severus back to their seats. She tried not to hear Lucius' comment, but it nagged at her. Was her clothing not rightly chosen? Was Sev maybe ashamed of her looks and therefore didn't dance anymore, so all didn't have to see how awfully she was looking? Of course, she had not the slightest chance against Narcissa, Rouge, Disa and Melissa. Silently, she sat down beside him and once again rested her head against his shoulder. "Isn't it ridiculous? I am already missing you, even if we have the entire summer holidays ahead of us. You'll come around and see me at home, won't you? Well, it doesn't matter, it will work as well the other way round." She smiled as she leaned forward and kissed him. "I love you, Sev." As she saw he was looking at her with a serious expression, her smile vanished. "What's the matter, Sev? Is there something? Is there something wrong? Am I talking too much?" She feared what he might answer.  
  
"No, everything's alright." He looked attentively into her green eyes. "I love you, too." His eyes began to sparkle. "I have to show you something. Come." She rose and offered her his hand. She grasped it and without attracting attention, he left the Hall with her. They descended into the Slytherin Wing. Midway, he stopped and kissed her fervently, while pressing her against the wall. Even if she would have wanted to, she could never have escaped, as his entire weight is against her as presses himself against her. It is a very intimate moment in their "relationship", as their bodies are pressed so much at each other as never before. What might she be thinking now? I know she'll follow me. And probably she won't ask any questions. She is naive. Poor Lily, what is she thinking will wait for her? With certainty something beautiful. Perhaps she is thinking we are going to sleep together. Oh, Sev, you abuse this girl's innocence and love for you so shamelessly. Yes, I'm doing it. And I don't mind. How can I possibly be so cold.  
  
She followed Sev without resistance. She was lucky they left the overcrowded room so they could be alone longer and undisturbed. For all the past months, they hadn't made a big thing of their being together. They hadn't seen it as a necessity to show the whole world they were a couple. Furthermore, it had spared them a lot of trouble coming from members of both their houses. Yes, she trusted Severus blindly. People might call her foolish for doing so, but she didn't care. The way down to the Slytherin Wing, in other words the dungeons, was undoubtedly a little bit scary. Countless time Lily wondered what he was up to. Suddenly, he pressed her against the wall and kissed her feverishly. What's the matter with him? Normally, he never is so direct, so intense, so --- No there was no word that matched with what she felt right now. His entire weight leaned against her fragile frame, between the kiss and the pressure she had difficulties to breathe. She guessed what he had in mind. Originally, she still had wanted to wait, but right now she was ready to turn herself against all her good intentions and to surrender herself completely to him. It is not going to hurt, Lily. It is an act of love. And love as deep as ours knows no pain. Yes, Severus, I am entirely yours. I love you. After what seemed to be an eternity, this kiss broke. Lily breathed heavily. Her eyes sparkled with tears and - was it lust? "Sev, love, I follow you to where you desire. I trust you. But, please, don't let us stand here unless you want somebody to see us. Filch for example. I really don't want anybody disturbing us. Whatever may await me, I am prepared for it. If it pleases you then it shall do the same to me. I am ready. I surrender myself entirely to you." She presses her body against his. Her body is tense, she tries to sense him through the fabric of his robes, to feel him. In all what she is doing lies deep eroticism. It is enough for her, she actually doesn't need more of him. To guess how Severus might be was already the peak of her desire. No, this physical closeness of naked skin against naked skin was not necessary to express their deep love. She took his hand. "Come, Sev, let us continue." She let herself be guided further into the darkness.  
  
Yes, she is mine, in this very moment. She would surrender herself to me... Oh, Severus, always those thoughts of power. He guided her up to the door which led to Professor Riddle's private chambers. As if by coincidence, he stopped again and kissed her. He held her in his arms and pressed his stomach against her to enforce the sensation if what his intentions were, or might be. Suddenly - it happened all too quickly - he turned Lily around, held her by the neck and drew out his wand. He opened the door with a spell and pushed her into the room. "Professor? She is here." Riddle sat in an easy chair by the fire. He looked extremely satisfied. His raven- black hair fell in strands into his face and his blue eyes sparkled. "Severus! I knew I could count on you. And you are punctual, just as we said." He stood and halted in front of her. "Ah, Lily, the purest of all flowers. An extraordinary good choice." He lifted her chin so he could look straight into her face. The gesture is thoroughly suggestive. "Well, enough of it. Bind her so she can't move. Severus pointed his wand at Lily and muttered a spell which bound her in the air with invisible chains, so she has to stand where she is, unable to move. That done he stepped aside to watch and to learn.  
  
Lily enjoyed it so much when Severus took her into his arms and kissed her. For someone who doesn't like it, he's doing it quite often tonight. And quite good. Especially this one --- She frightened as he grasped her and opened the door in front of them with a spell. She didn't understand anymore what was happening. What got suddenly into him? Shaking and without resistance she entered the room, guided by Sev. Panic stricken she gasped for air as she saw Professor Riddle. What was the meaning of this all? Suddenly, she felt his ice cold hand in her face. She opened her mouth, but her fear already went too deep. She can't produce a single, tiny sound. Everything in her wants to run away, but then she felt she held still by invisible chains. Her eyes were scanning her surroundings madly. What was going to happen? Oh, Merlin, she didn't want to die. Desperate, she looked at Sev. Why didn't he come to her help? Why did he watch so coldly and idly? And why had he brought her here? Had the past months been a lie? She had been so sure about their mutual love. She had clearly felt it. She tried to pull herself together and to look Riddle firmly into the eyes. "What do you want from me, Professor? Why am I a good choice? What does this all mean?" She turned her gaze onto Severus. Her eyes were full of tears. "Sev? Why did you bring me here? I thought you loved me. Was everything just a lie? The whole seven months? Oh, Sev, how could you? Well, if I shall die now and here and today, then I will do so. For you. I hope that is proof enough for my affection." She looked at both men defiantly. It is all just a façade, inside she is screaming out of fear. She bit her lip as Riddle took one further step towards her.  
  
For a long time Severus remained quiet. He was as cold as marble and his face showed no emotion. Then, it sounded more like a hiss, he said with flashing eyes: "There's nothing you have to prove me. And your affection holds no value for me." He stared so coldly at her that she should know the matter was buried for him. "And you, my little virgin, hold your tongue. As sacrifice you have no right to speak." Riddle slapped her violently into the face. Severus only shuddered slightly but inside her was screaming. "Well, it's time to start." Riddle began to perform several strange rituals, he poured two liquids together and mumbled ritual spells. Severus observed it with great interest. Then, he poured the liquid onto a flat plate. "And now..." He took a step towards Lily. "The most important ingredient, the heart of a pure soul..." The moment his arm shot forward to destroy Lily thorax with all his force to grasp her heart, Snape threw himself in front of her. But the intensity and the speed of Riddle's movement is not stoppable. He tore a hole into his thorax and his rips broke apart. His hand touched his heart for a short moment and he squeezed tightly. Severus threw his whole weight at Riddle and took him with him to the floor. They fought. Riddle's head bumped heavily onto the cold stone floor. Severus placed his hand around his opponent's throat. With the other hand he grabbed his wand. He delivered Lily. "Run!" At the same moment Riddle managed to free himself and pinned Severus to the floor underneath him. He grabbed the collar of his robes to beat his waist and head again and again onto the floor. Severus defended himself with all his might. Blood ran from his mouth down his chin. "Run! Quick!" "Oh Severus, I didn't think you that weak. You deceived me badly and I'm sorry, but I can't stand failures!" Riddle had placed his wand over Severus' open thorax and touched the wound lightly, ready to speak the Death Curse. Quickly, Severus slammed Riddle's back of head with his wand, so the dark wizard lost consciousness. Severus screamed with pain as Riddle's wand went through his heart. The other man's weight had rammed it through it. With heavy breath Severus freed himself and pulled the wand out of his breast. Blood spilled from it like out of a fountain but he pressed his hand against the wound. It didn't help. The world before his eyes faded to black. But his will of life didn't leave him. As he blinked into against the light, he stared into Lily's green eyes. She had put a large piece of cloth into the fist-sized wound in his breast. His eyes scanned his surrounding - Riddle was gone. "Lily...oh...please...forgive me!" With building fear Lily observed Riddle. As he moved towards her with her with his hand outreaching she closed her eyes and waited for her ending. But it didn't come. As she opened her eyes she saw the wizard and Severus fighting. She screamed and shielded her face with her hands as warm drops of blood landed on her. Sev's blood. He tried to kill you! How can you still think tenderly of him? No, he didn't kill you. He didn't try it, too. That was Professor Riddle. But he delivered you to him willingly and that's almost the same. But on the other hand, he saved you. You're still alive. As she removed her hands from her face, Riddle was gone, but Severus pulled a wand out of his thorax. Countless amounts of blood flowed out of the wound, trough Sev's hands, who tried frantically to stop the flow. She felt sick as she saw him lying like that on the floor. Lily could smell the metallic scent of his blood. With all her effort she tried to keep her dinner with her. She kneeled down and tore a large piece out of her dress. It doesn't matter now if it is torn. I am certainly not going to wear it next year, not after today. She put the piece of cloth into his wound. Her hands were absolutely still. She did it with mechanic routine. She had been robbed of all her illusions with one single blow. She was not even able to cry. Then he opened his eyes and looked at her. How much she had loved those pitch-black eyes. How much she had loved him. She still did, but this evening he had destroyed everything that might have been. He bade her forgiveness. His low voice made the walls inside her crumble. Heavy drops fell onto his face. "How can I forgive you? Why did you do it? I loved you. I can't believe that everything was just a lie. It hurts so much, Sev." Her voice even lower she added: "Did you ever, just for a second, love me?" She feared his answer might break her heart even more. "I am sorry, Lily!" His voice failed him and his breath started to rattle. "I...I wanted power..." He coughed. "Forgive me." As he opened his mouth, it was filled with blood. It ran down his chin and drenched his white collar which was now clearly visible underneath the black robes. "Yes, I loved you. Unfortunately, much too late..." His last words became undistinguished. He clenched himself. His thorax lifted a little bit, his head fell backwards. He closed his eyes in pain. The convulsion ended. "You will never forgive me. Well, I can't expect it from you. Please, go now. I don't want it that you see me like this." His face was even paler than normally. He was icy-cold.  
  
Lily couldn't help it. She began to cry again. Damn, why do I have to be such a cry-baby? Slowly she leaned down, whipped the blood out of the corner of his mouth and kissed him lightly. She tasted the metallic taste of his blood that filled his mouth again. She whispered into his ear, very low, out of fear somebody might hear it, but loud enough for him to understand her. "I believe you. If you truly love me, you will live long enough that I can call for help. But I won't betray you. Take it as my parting gift, Sev. I wash your hands clean in front of everybody. " She did not know why, but she covered the wound with her hands and closed her eyes. Suddenly, the wound ceased to bleed. Frightened, she jumped to her feet and ran up the stairs which led into the dungeons, into the Great Hall. She stormed over the dance floor, bumped into James and Rouge and ran up to Dumbledore. His smile faded as he saw Lily's panic filled face, wet with tears. He leaned forward and she whispered something into his ear, gasping for air. Dumbledore nodded gravely and disappeared through a side door. Lily stood at the teacher's table and stared helplessly into the crowd until she felt James' gaze rest on her. She looked at him and started to cry again. Why did Severus...? He simply had to live. She couldn't bear the thought he had to die. He would live. It was her last gift, her parting gift. The deepest proof of love she could give him, she had ever given him.  
  
Dumbledore hurried immediately down into the dungeons and reached Professor Riddle's private chambers. As he saw Severus lying on the floor he knew he was unconscious. He called Mme Pomfrey and told her to take care of him the best she could and then send him to St.Mungo's. What has happened? Lily has to be asked again. But Dumbledore should never do it. He had his own idea and considered it wiser not to bring up the subject again. Professor Riddle had disappeared. That was proof enough that he had not been wrong about him. Even if he had hoped differently for some time... Meanwhile, in the Ballroom, James excused himself in front of Rouge, who already looked quite cheerful and walked up to Lily. He looked deep into her eyes and understood. Even if he didn't know what had happened he knew her heart had been broken. Carefully, he put his arm around her and led her out of the Hall. Away from all those happy students. Away from the noise, from the eyes that stared at her. He brought her into the Gryffindor Common Room. The whole time he did not speak a word. He let her sit on a couch near the fireplace and sat down beside her. She cried and he stared into the flames --- Severus regained consciousness in the hospital. He thought of the last events - he had made the worst mistake of his life. 


End file.
